Being Me when it's Weird

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I live in a small town. In Missouri. That should probably tell you where we are headed. Here, it's not other places that might have popped up in your head. Not everybody goes hunting and skins squirrels all day, though some do. No, most people here are moody, sulky, teenagers who CAN NOT take it when a teacher tells them to be quite. It's almost comical- almost.

You see, I am the type of kid who never gets in trouble. I try to build some type of relationship with all my teachers- I try to find common ground with all of them. This is a new thought to most of the people in my classes: be nice to everyone.

But the point of this was that being myself in this town is hard. I've had to find the right group of people to talk to. And let me tell you, it was hard. I went through many "groups" of people to find the place where I could just be myself. The populars? NO. The pokemon people? Nice, but I don't understand pokemon all that well. Then I found my people: the people that don't have a group.

As I said in my last post, I am very outgoing. This might trigger the thought that I am popular. No, and I don't wanna be.

The thing is, I have many qualities that I love about myself, that most others at school do not. In my town, you're considered dumb or stupid if you have a different opinion on anything. Say I don't like cheese pizza, and I prefer veggie pizza: I am dumb. This fact bothers me. While everyone else outside the borders of this town, are hearing each other out, making strides in civilized conversation, my town (more like school) are taking to strides backwards. It really is sad. 

I am also very passionate. Once I get into something, I'm in it for the long haul. For example: I have recently gotten over my obsession with the band Five Seconds of Summer. You could basically any question, and I could probably give you many answers. They were basically all I would talk about. Not even exaggerating here. Everyone thought I was crazy (and I might be a little crazy), but they also thought I was dumb. Like I was a mindless fangirl robot who would kill for a chance to meet her favorite band. But that wasn't the case. I was very depressed before I heard about 5SOS, and their music helped me through that. I also enjoyed the many friends I made because of 5SOS. I have a friend in England, and I've never left the country. There was a reason to my madness. A pattern to the crazy. There always is. And the people in this town don't seem to see that. They only see the surface of a person, if they even look. There is so much more to what you can see on the outside, cliche but true. That's why I very much dislike this town: You can't be yourself if you aren't confident.

Why do I say this? Because, in this town it's true. If you do you, if you be yourself, then you will-at one point- be made fun of. Just this past week, I was walking to class and a someone through a piece of paper at me. I knew who it was. She is the older sister of a girl in my grade, who one day last year, I told off for bullying someone else (bye the way, the bullying stopped. I'm tall and plus sized: I scared her). I laughed, and went on. It did sting a little, but I knew I had to keep my head held high. I didn't get sad or break down crying because I knew that what she just did was getting back at me for scaring her sister. And I wasn't about to apologize for that. It's sad that you have to be all or nothing in this town.

But I've learned to be myself, even if almost everyone will think I'm dumb, uneducated, or "goody-goody" (really "goody-goody" that's the best they could come up with). I've seen many people be pushed out of school by other's words, and I won't let that happen to me or any of my friends. So, to help myself I've created a "Stand Your Ground" recipe:

1 (or more) very good friends: This is crucial. You won't be able to survive highschool without them. You have to be able to tell them anything- from crushes to your deepest fears. They also have to like what you like, but you can't be the exact same person. It's a hard balance to find, but when you do, it will be magical.

5 sprinkles of common sense: Since highschool is filled with raging hormone sticks, you might have to be the only rational one there. Or maybe, if you're lucky, you could be apart of the small group of five people who also have common sense.

A cup full of self-love: Another very crucial piece of this recipe. Probably the most important. It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done, you can love yourself. Loving yourself is just when you accept you. Like that classic Vine say: "Love yourself! Accept yourself!". If you don't know what that is, I sorry. But anyway, when you first start loving self, it is freeing. You see yourself in a new light, you become happier. But don't get me wrong, loving yourself is a journey, a long, long journey. At the end of the journey, though, you will be the happiest you've ever been.

A butt ton of "I don't care": Lastly, you can't care about what other people think about you. I know it's very hard to do, but you have to fake it till you make it (or that's what I do). I don't care about anyone's opinion of me if I don't know them that well. Obviously I'm not mean to people (the thought of being mean scares me), but if they say mean things to me, I know that they are just sad themselves, and I honestly feel bad for them. Just know that the only opinion about you that really matters is God's and yours.

That's it for today! I'm sorry it's kind of long, I just ramble a lot. I just wanted to do this post because it was on mind (mostly because the paper thing happened just last week). Thanks for reading, don't forget to subscribe to know when I post!